Riding the Storm: why you feel so much inside you
“It’s like I have a storm living inside of me” I told my husband after another emotional outburst.
I was beginning to realize that I had an emotional wave running through me. I had so many feelings inside my body that life in my inner circle could be intense for my loved ones. I didn’t mean to spew out my emotions at my loved ones, but yet it kept happening, and it kept happening in a cyclical way too. There was a pattern of emotional buildup, purge (usually through an unexpected outburst that overtook my body), and then build up again.
At first, this emotional storm scared me. I knew I had been feeling so much inside of me for my whole life, but facing the fact that I was now hurting people around me was hard.
It was time to face something about myself: as an empath, ignoring my wide range of emotional sensations was sabotaging my life.
I realized that my emotions were taking up actual space in my auric field and therefore my life. I realized that emotions unfelt only get louder and stronger. They do not diminish just because I would rather not feel them or acknowledge them.
This is why I am so passionate about holding space for other people to feel and express their own emotions safely.
Particularly as an empath, you know how strong emotions can be. So now you might be asking yourself “am I an empath?”
The truth is that all human beings are empathic to an extent and have the capacity to open their inner doorways if they so choose.
So what differentiates “empaths” from the majority of the human population?
The true answer is: not much… except for ONE key distinction: sensitivity.
As an empath, your doors are already open. You do not even have to make the choice to open yourself up. You were born open, you are open, and you don’t know how to turn your openness off if you tried (and you have probably tried, let’s be real here).
Your soul decided, on some level, that sensitivity to the unseen energies in this world was going to serve you on your personal life journey. So you have been blessed with the gift of sensitivity, and yes, I do mean to refer to it as a gift.
In a world that values hard, rigid laws over sensitivity and emotions, it can be easy to miss the fact that you are holding a gift as a sensitive person.
Do I feel more emotions than most people around me?
Do I feel so much anxiety inside my body that I sometimes feel like the world is going to eat me up on SOME days?
Do I catch myself in a state that seems to suggest that I am feeling other people’s feelings as if they were my own sometimes?
Do I need days to recharge after being in a crowded place/surrounded by people or harsh settings?
And finally, if you feel a resonance within you from reading this, you are probably an empath. Being naturally open to unseen energies can be an intensely emotional experience. In the beginning, it feels like you’re a little crazy, broken, mentally ill, or “unstable.”
The truth is that emotions are not stable, and before you understand how to ride the storm of feelings inside you, it is going to be natural for you to feel ungrounded or even disconnected from yourself.
“Disconnected from yourself” can be taken in a spiritual sense where you feel like you don’t know who YOU are individually. You could also experience the disconnect in a physical sense where you feel disembodied/dissociated from your body/”not really here".” It can be a dreamy sensation, and when you don’t know what is happening, it can also be concerning.
You have nothing to fear and everything to learn
These feelings are intense, but this is a natural experience for people like you and me. It is hardest in the beginning when the feelings come on and no one around you seems to have an answer for why you feel this way.
The journey of an empath is all about embodiment and learning how to ride the waves of emotional energy within you.
So let’s dive into some easy ways that you can ride your emotional storm without letting the storm get the best of you:
Remember that, just because you feel it does not mean that it is real
As humans, most of us are conditioned to layer our thoughts onto our feelings. As soon as you feel an uncomfortable/uneasy emotion, it is natural that you will want to logically understand the feeling. This is where the overthinking happens, and with each layer of thought, you entwine yourself into a brain-created illusion.
The most powerful first step you can take as an empath is realizing that your emotions are separate from your thoughts. Not every emotion you feel is rational, and not every emotion you feel is YOURS. Humans carry emotions from their ancestry (via genes and cellular memory), from past lives (also in cellular memory and aura), and sometimes we even carry each other’s emotions (from interacting with other auras).
Just because you feel it does not mean that it is YOURS. A lot of the times, the thoughts we have attached to our emotional storm make no sense and create an illusory story that WE make real by believing in it.
Imagine what would happen if you said to yourself “this is not real” and detached from the illusion you created. Illusions after all are created through a combination of 5 senses, emotions, and thought. Unravel the matrix, and you have given yourself emotional freedom (aka the ability to ride the storm).
Remember that, just because you feel it DOES mean that it is real
On the flip side, your feelings indicate that you are experiencing something real. I know this sounds like I am contradicting myself, but this is usually how universal wisdom works.
Our world dismisses the unseen. You can’t hold it in your hand? Then it can’t be real.
This leaves you feeling isolated and misunderstood by the people around you. So in the meantime, you are feeling something that feels real, yet being told that your emotions are “over-the-top” or “imaginary.” This belief is unhealthy (and dare I say it) DANGEROUS. Segregating empaths in society has been an issue since the beginning of modern time.
“Can’t see it? Can’t touch it? Can’t talk to it? Can’t manipulate it directly? Can’t eat it? Can’t make money from it? Then it must not be real” - the patriarchy
However, empaths are everything that threatens the established systems because we remember an ancient secret that most humans have forgotten: that we are multi-dimensional, energetic beings originating from an expansive, high-energy source.
Regardless of religion, empaths can feel that we have an energetic origin. That is what you are feeling when you have emotions crashing inside you: you are feeling energy.
And energy is real. You are feeling something REAL. This is not in your head.
Find the Seat
My final advice for you is to connect with the seat of your soul. So what do I mean by this?
Well, when you reflect on your own consciousness, you can perceive some layers that make you “YOU.”
You have your thoughts, which originate from the mind
You have your feelings that originate from the body.
And finally, you have the part of you that is able to witness your thoughts, emotions, and the world around you. There is a part of you that can think about you thinking about you thinking. This is the part of you that is connected to the spirit/soul and auric body.
Your soul sees the BIG picture at all times, and most of our soul’s wisdom lives in the subconscious mind. The mind and body are much louder than the spirit, which speaks in a whisper (that I find usually has the cadence of my own voice whispering back at me).
This part of you can sit back and witness the storm. I find this seat of being the observer is where I ride out my emotional storm without denying myself the experience. The soul doesn’t need to repress emotions or hide from discomfort, so it is in the seat of the observer that I am able to feel, purge, and process without catching people in the crossfire of my emotions.
You access the observer seat through deep breath and a willingness to detach logical meaning from what you are feeling. I always liken this feeling to curiosity: “what am I feeling right now?” “What am I thinking about right now?” “That’s funny that I am trying to believe that old limiting story again.”
It’s in this state that I have learned how to ride my emotional storm in a healthy way. What I have found is that emotions are uncomfortable, but it is your attachment to the stories around your emotions that make them hurt so much more. Try being the objective witness of your emotional world. Give yourself compassion, love, and patience for the practice.
At first, riding the emotional storm can be painful because you are not used to facing yourself in this way, but I promise that it gets easier with time and practice.
Even I am still working on being strong and stable in my own storm, but I have come a long way on my journey.
Supporting you in your sensitivity is my calling
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