Conquering "Cinderella Syndrome": Success Through Soul
The term that I use to describe this phenomenon:
In November of 2017, I celebrated the fourth month of my intuitive life coaching business. I set my intention to sign 3 new clients by the end of the week using my energy, focus, and inspired actions ALONE.
I completed that week with 3 new clients in ONE DAY (and then a fourth one week to the day later).
At this time, my husband and I were living in a rough downtown apartment, surrounded by poverty and steadily growing crime/danger.
It was like my fairy Godmother finally showed me how much abundance I could bring into my life.
When my husband arrived home from work, I had tears streaming down my face.
“I did it.”
“What do you mean?”
“I signed 3 new clients.”
“How much money is that?”
“$11 400 today with $5K in payments coming up.”
“Wait, so we just made over $11K in a day?”
He had to sit down.
It was so fast and so sudden even though it was my intention and my plan all along.
At first, I was dancing and celebrating...
And then I sat down on the couch because a heaviness overtook me.
“I’ll never be able to do this again”
“What?!” He said incredulously.
“There is no way I can keep doing this. It’s too hard to believe. I better enjoy it while it lasts.”
And this scarcity pattern set the stage for my biggest personal struggle of 2018.
I DID do it again. I had sporadic $20K months throughout the year,
But each time I came down from the initial high,
I felt like the universe was going to “break the spell at midnight” and all would return to how it used to be.
This feeling came from the fact that I was so out of touch with my own personal power. I felt like my success was a stroke of good fortune (no matter how many times I repeated it). I felt like I would “run out of” potential clients and therefore would have to return to low-paying day jobs, struggling to make ends meet.
I kept anticipating the “coach” turning into a “pumpkin” (pun intended), which often manifested for months at a time. As much as I experienced prosperity in my business (and life in general), I also experienced painstaking months of tension and fear.
Will we be able to pay rent this month? Will I be able to afford my horse like this when I don’t know what each month will bring for me?
And in those months of tension, I now realize that I was creating the WHOLE experience: the “just-in-time” sales or “surprise” cheques before falling back into a period of scarcity. I created the whole experience, whether I was experiencing months of intense sales or months of crickets: it was all coming from me. Always.
This is why your personal power is so important
Your consciousness is ALWAYS creating your reality. This is not something that stops whenever the Universe decides that it is “tired of supporting you” (this is not a thing). The laws of the Universe do not CEASE in order to confuse you. Moments of slow income or slow progress in any realm of your life signify resistance in your own consciousness.
Whether you “want” it or not, you are always creating what you see in life and business. Success is something that is birthed from your soul, and most importantly, from your unwavering faith in yourself.
This is what I learned about conquering “Cinderella Syndrome” and starting 2019 with a new energy/focus:
Your faith and trust are your superpowers
Entrepreneurship and LIFE in general will always encourage you to turn inward. One of the biggest ways that life will draw you inward is through uncertainty. Security in general is usually an illusion, even when you are working your “secure job” with the “safe pay cheque.” That job itself could be ripped away at a moment’s notice (it happens all the time), and then you would be in the vulnerable state that you are currently sacrificing your dreams in order to avoid.
Whether you realize it or not, you are constantly in a dance of self-trust and faith in the unknown; it is just that entrepreneurship does not have the comfort of a “guaranteed pay cheque” to distract from the fact that we are always suspended in space and time, never knowing what will come next with 100% certainty. (Heck, I’m psychic, and I still know that my path is as determined as shifting sands).
Your ability to trust in your higher purpose, your co-creative support from the Universe, and most importantly: yourSELF is your superpower. Faith might sound like a soft, sappy, airy-fairy concept, but this ability is what allows life to be experienced THROUGH you. Life is always a force moving THROUGH you (with or without your perceived “control”), and business is NO exception to this flow. Remember: in life and business, control is an illusion. However, your faith is REAL. (I have seen this in action in my own life and in my clients’ lives consistently; faith is power).
2. Your success is a reflection of your focus
It is my strong belief that life slows us down when we have lost our core focus: our personal power. The slowest months in my business were the months where my attention was focused on EXTERNAL situations/events/outcomes. The very essence of “Cinderella Syndrome” is assuming that some “fairy Godmother” portrayal of the Universe is creating your wins, losses, and everything in between. As humans, the #1 thing we tend to forget is our own agency in our lives. This is usually a sign that we are disconnected from our bodies/energy and instead operating from our heads.
Your head is fickle; it is wired to LOOK for threats, issues, and misery. Function from your head, and WATCH how fast your vibration lowers, bringing your reality down with it. The sad fact is that a lot of us (myself in 2018 included) have ZERO idea of how to connect to our bodies and essence. It becomes easier to escape from the woes of the brain by externalizing.
Do any of these sound familiar?
When I make “X” dollars in sales, I will relax/take more time for self-care
When I have signed “X” amount of clients, I will quit my job or book that retreat spot or hire that coach, etc.
When I sign ONE CLIENT, just ONE, I will feel confident in my abilities
When I lose “X” pounds, I will start dating again/buy that dress that I love
When I reach “X” figures, I will feel like a professional
What do these statements have in common?
The assumption that something changing OUTSIDE of yourself will change something INSIDE yourself.
Let me tell you from experience: no amount of money will “buy” success or confidence (my relationship with money is my pressure point to this day and will always be something for me to work through). Success cannot be measured by external gratification or status symbols. If you are defining success this way, it’s okay: it is how we are conditioned in this life. However, even the oldest stories can be rewritten by CHOOSING a new perception.
What does success really mean to you? How can you define success instead with a more INternal focus? Remember that you are the power behind your dreams and your success.
3. Success is meant to feel NATURAL
I always talk about your nature, and this is because I know that nature = power. The most powerful decision you can make is to return to your NATURE. What I mean by this is allowing yourself to explore the paths that integrate MORE than just your strengths: the paths that allow you to bring forward your natural PASSION, play, and creativity.
Nature means accepting what IS, mess and all. It means resisting the urge to play the “all-knowing, flawless professional” act that your ego will try to rope you into. Instead, follow your heart and soul to success. This will mean FEELING your passion and committing boldly to that passion. It will mean allowing your impact to naturally flow through you (because whether you realize it or not, like me, YOU are also a divine channel). Control is the enemy of success. Passion and serenity are the cornerstones. Which approach are you taking right now?
In the end…
Life is always happening THROUGH you, not TO you. Co-creation means that you resist the urge to strong-hand the Universe into bending to your will. The Universe already respects your free will above all else, so if you are receiving signs, signals, and dead ends, know that your SOUL is telling you something. Slowing down is often needed for reflection before you can surge forward with ease. The reason for this call to reflection? So that you can REMEMBER that there is no “universal fairy Godmother” delivering you random packages of “success.”
Your success is ALWAYS coming FROM you. Like everything else in the Universe, your success is a reflection of your own consciousness. Always. Without fail. As soon as you OWN your personal power in this success story, the fear of losing everything begins to fade away into the back of your brain (where it belongs).
The fear of “the spell breaking” actually comes from the fact that you believe that success is random, coincidental, and coming from something OUTSIDE of yourself.
The remedy? Go deep within. Access and enhance your personal power, refusing to compromise your self-value for anyone else’s projection of you.
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Sending you so much love, light, and hugs.